New Year's Resolutions part 2

I hope you spent some time thinking about how to make your new years resolutions measurable, specific, and realistic.  If you need a review, look here.

After I've got specific, measurable and realistic goals, I write goals into 4 different categories.  My categories are: physical, emotional, social and spiritual.  I do this because I want to improve in several ways, and in each component of who I am.

Physical goals are goals relating to my physical well-being (this could include fitness, financial, health, etc).

Emotional goals aid in maturing who you are.  A goal in this category could include giving service to one person each day (or month, or week - whatever works for you).  For me, emotional goals are the hardest to make measurable.  Something like "be kinder" is not measurable.  So think "what do kind people do?"  Do kind people give more compliments?  Smile more often?  Okay, now we are getting somewhere!  How about "Give a compliment to someone each day".  Specific, and measurable. :)

Social goals are also hard to measure.  I like to think "What do people who are social do?"  Well, people who are social make contact with other people regularly (and there is a goal!  Make contact with someone outside of my immediate family at least once a day/week/month - remember, this needs to be realistic for YOU).

Spiritual goals are going to be different depending on how you view spirituality.  For me, spiritually is related to religious practices.  So a goal could be "attend church services weekly/monthly/etc." or "read scriptures all the way through", or "pray each morning".  Each of these things will create spiritual growth.

I always write my goals in my journal (my journal is a college rule notebook), and make a chart that looks like this (and yes, in my journal the lines are just as crooked):

Then I put at least a couple goals in each category.

For example, this year, I want to become more physically fit (this is not a measurable goal, so I don't write that).  I decided a way to do this is to run a marathon.  Under physical goals I write "Run a marathon".  

There are some goals that could be in a couple different categories, so I pick the one that makes most sense to me.  After all, this is MY journal, and MY goals.  No one else will critique them.  A goal of "Save $1000"  could either be a physical goal (since money is physical), a emotional goal (having it makes you feel safe), or a spiritual goal (if you are in a better place spiritually as a result of reaching this goal).  For me, I'd put that goal in the physical category.  But, this is up to you.  Do what feels natural for you!

I like to look at my "bucket list" and see which of those things I want to accomplish that year.  Be careful to avoid goals that include another person to accomplish them (such as "have a baby, get married, become better friends with Xperson).  

This year, I want to learn to play guitar better (I just started!).  The first step is a physical goal - purchase a guitar.  The next goal is "learn to play all the chords" (I'm going to call this a physical goal too).  

I'm curious to what types of goals my readers are setting!  Please comment, and let me know.  If you need help making it measurable, I'd be happy to help. :)

A clean white elephant gift

I know I'm a little late, but here is an idea for your next white elephant gift exchange.

While preparing for a white elephant gift exchange, I spent a few minutes looking for a gift idea online.  I was appalled at all the dirty gifts ideas.  Most were sexual in nature.  I had an idea for a gift, and thought I'd share it!

Weights for beginners!

All that is needed is s couple large marshmallows, and bamboo skewers.  Put the marshmallows on the ends of the skewers.  I made a quick tag with a note "weights for beginners".  

It was a success at my party!  The recipient practiced lifting them :).  

If you try this, let me know how it is received!

New Year Resolutions part 1

Every year I make new years resolutions.  And for the past several years, I've been able to reach most of my goals.  Yes, really!

There are a few key elements to achieving goals.

1- Write it down
2- It must be realistic
3- It must be measurable
4 - It must be specific

So, one goal I DON'T make it to "be a better mom".  Why not?  Well. . . how do you measure being a good mom?  Is it quality time?  Is it patience? Is it activities you do with kids?  Some of those things are measurable... Make those MEASURABLE things your goals.

Another goal that is hard to measure is "learn to play an instrument."  How do you measure "completion" of learning it?  This again is where we get really specific.  How about "learn to play 'Stairway to Heaven'" as a goal instead?  Or "learn how to play all the chords of a guitar"? See?  measurable, specific, realistic.

Start thinking of a few goals you'd like to reach.  I'll write more about goals in a few days.

The Color Code

For those of us who are finding ourselves, I recently read a great book, "The Color Code".

There are four "personality" colors.  Each personality type has strengths and weaknesses.   Each personality is motivated by different values.  Red personalities are motivated by power, blue personalities are motivated by intimacy (as in emotional intimacy), yellows are motivated by fun, and yellows are motivated by peace.  Yes, I'm oversimplifying it.  

The color code concept has been around for a long time.  I remember taking it when I was in my early teens.  If I remember correctly, my colors were blue (dominant), and yellow (secondary).  At the time, I was told this was a good combination.

Over time, I know I've changed.  Sometimes I test more blue/white.  But, as Taylor Hartman says, our main color does not change.  

The Color Code has a personality test in it, to help you as you read.  Or you can take it here.  I found it interesting.  But remember, every personality test is limited, and will not tell you everything.  

The book tells specific specifics about each personality, along with interactions between different personality types.  This helped me to better understand my relationships with my children, and other people around me.  

Here is where you can purchase the book in hard cover and in Kindle.

Puzzles

Sometimes life is a puzzle...

I use to wonder if life foreshadowed (like a plot in a novel).  

Recently, I had everything figured out.  Then,  everything changed.  I felt like the puzzle of my life was put together correctly, then someone came smashed it.  I looked frantically to pick up the pieces, to put it back together again.  Then look closer, and it's not even the same puzzle I thought I was putting together.  Ever feel like that?

I was in a grocery store a few days ago, staring into space, trying to figure out a "plan" (I really like a plan).   An older gentleman waved his hand in front of my face and then said "Don't worry, everything is going to work out".  I jokingly asked "Do you know know yet?'  He looked at me very seriously and said "It just does."

Yes, everything DOES work out.  Sometimes it's hard to see that in the mist (or beginning) of change, but it does work out.  Through many difficulties, I've learned that God will not take something away without replacing it with something better.  Many times the thing we lose is something we don't think we can do without.  And that's what makes the trial hard.  But if we hold on, and trust and have faith, we get so much more than we lost.  And what we lose feels small in comparison to what we gain.  

No matter what, look for the positive, trust in God, and it will all work out.  

The Promise

"The promise" is a book about a woman who became paralyzed when a friend playfully pushed her into a pool.

I love this story because  Rachelle has a positive attitude and a spunky spirit.  She hold on to her friends, and family, and never blames her friend for the accident.

There are a couple parts in the book that may be offensive to some.  There  is some swearing, and drinking and partying and nudity (not graphic in my opinion).  The book talks some about physical intimacy, and how it changed after the accident.  I felt like the point about sex were not graphic, and were simply factual and emotional. The author was not LDS, she is Jewish, and she does touch on her Jewish traditions briefly.

There are a few quotes I love: "You don't know a lot about yourself until you are tested".

I love this because even strong people don't know how strong they are until AFTER they experience crisis.

Rochelle's dad makes a comment about how we shouldn't live for old memories, but we should make new ones.  In any crisis, things will change.  Making new memories is a way to move on.

Friendship is a huge theme in this book.  Friendship is essential to resiliency, and friendships can change because of a challenge. I've seen friendships grow stronger or weaker during crisis.

Another theme is love.  And not superficial love, but true, real, mature love.  There are so many example of lust/superficial love these days that it was refreshing to see something genuine.

Click here for the  Kindle edition and  here for Hardcover.

Glorious from Meet the Mormons

When I listen to music, it's not uncommon for me to pick one song that "speaks" to me, and to listen to it over and over.  The song "Glorious" by David Archuleta, is one of my current favorites, and I listen to it often.  Especially when I feel like I'm searching for peace, and answers to questions.



Every person is special, and has a unique role to play.  Sometimes we feel guided in a certain direction.  And as we follow our hearts, we meet people who touch our lives and help to enhance us and teach us.  And sometimes we get to help and teach others as well.

I love the analogy in this song that each person plays a piece in the music of life.  Because we are all different, all the parts are needed.  When I was younger, I was very involved in music.  In orchestra there were at least 5 different parts to each piece we performed.  When I hear some of those songs played, I listen for the part that I played (it wasn't the melody line).  While that one part may not be spectacular on it's own, the music would not be the same without it.

Each day I want to do what God wants me to do.  My life is not glamorous, but my role is important to many people.  I am a mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a co-worker. . . and that's just a few of my roles.  I believe that people come into our life for a reason.  We give strength to each other, and help each other.  I have met strangers briefly who have impacted my life, and have no idea what their words meant.  I watch the quiet example of others, who I'm sure have no idea of what I'm learning from them.  Our impact may be big or small.  But I'm sure it is always bigger than we believe.  And when we all join together either explicitly, or by the influence of others, the difference each of us makes is huge.

Does this song speak to you?